Coping Archives - Center for Pastoral Renewal

Changing Our Focus to Others

Previously we looked at coping with pastoral stress and burnout through The Jesus Prayer. The Jesus
Prayer, coupled with the intentional breathing patterns, allows us to cope with stress and burnout in the
moment. Another way to battle stress and burnout in the moment is through a different type of prayer.
The type of prayer focused on in this blog is prayer for others. This is a change in mindset as we typically
pray for ourselves, our issues, our specific situation, etc. when we feel stressed-out. In other words, we
call out to God to help us in our circumstances. There is nothing wrong with praying for ourselves. Let’s
change direction from ourselves for a moment: How can praying for others when you are feeling
stressed-out help you cope in the moment?

Praying for others we know has proven mental and physical positives outcomes. People that pray for
one another, especially in exclusive romantic relationships, expressed increases in commitment and
relationship satisfaction. That is the power of prayer indeed. In other words, couples that pray for one
another stay together! (Fincham, et al., 2014). The benefits of prayer are also focused on medical
challenges. Individuals with HIV who prayed for those they knew were twice as likely to survive over 17
years when compared to those who did not pray for known others (Ironson & Shaheen, 2022).
Praying for others can offset the effects of life trauma (Krause, 2016).

Individuals praying for others experience positive mental, physical, and relational outcomes. Such
positive outcomes relate to battling the negative mental consequences of burnout (anxiety, loss of
hope, distress, etc.), the physical consequences of burnout (headaches, illness, loss of energy etc.), and
the relational consequences of burnout (i.e. cynicism, distancing oneself from others, resentment, etc.).
As such, praying for others has positive benefits for the person praying.

Changing our direction and intent of prayer from a self-focus to an others-focus can help us mitigate
burnout in the moment. Why does this work? When we focus on our dire circumstances, our feelings,
our obstacles, our problems, our stress, etc. all we can see are the negatives pushing in on us. Praying
for others we know removes our mind from focusing on our issues to focusing on others. After praying
for others, which causes us to break from being self-focused, we may find clarity and mental/physical
capacity; we may realize others are experiencing worse situations than we are; we may remind
ourselves that God is in control.

How would one use praying for others as a means of coping with burnout in the moment? When you
feel stress taking a hold on you, take 2-5-minute prayer break. After finding a quiet place, consciously
pray for other individuals in your life. It may help to keep a prayer list. The prayers should be specific in
nature: “Lord, please calm Bill’s nerves as he flies up North today. I know he is scared to fly. Please
surround him with the peace only you can bring.” Another example: “I want to pray Your blessing over
Sally today. Thank you for giving her to me as wife. May she feel your presence throughout the day, and
give her patience while homeschooling our kids.”

In these examples, we remove our self-focus and replace it with an others-focus. This removes us, for
the time we praying, from our stressors. We emerge from praying for others with a greater sense of
peace and refined clarity as we complete our tasks.

References

Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R., Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. (2014). I say a little prayer for you: Praying for partner increases commitment in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(5),
587-593. doi:10.1037/a0034999

Ironson, G., & Ahmad, S. S. (2022). Praying for people you know predicts survival over 17 years among
people living with HIV in the U.S. Journal of Religion and Health, 61(5), 4081-4095.
doi:10.1007/s10943-022-01622-5

Krause, N., Ironson, G., & Pargament, K. (2016). Lifetime trauma, praying for others, and C-reactive
protein. Biodemography and Social Biology, 62(3), 249-261.
doi:10.1080/19485565.2016.1188367

Coping with Pastoral Burnout using the Jesus Prayer

We have focused more recently on the causes and experiences associated with burnout at the Center for Pastoral Renewal. Now we want to begin by offering some concrete suggestions for dealing with it. There are two main aspects to dealing with job stressors and burnout. First, there are acute ways for coping with job stress. Acute means that these are more short-term in focus and duration. That is, short-term strategies are useful in the immediate experience of burnout. These approaches aid pastors in managing the intense and immediate experiences of stress and burnout while in the moment they occur.

The second aspect of coping with stressors and burnout related to the pastorate are focused on long-term strategies. These strategies are used daily as part of one’s reflective spiritual practices that foster a character capable of dealing with pastoral burnout. These more chronic or devotional spiritual practices are crucial for developing the spiritual characteristics needed to absorb those immediate experiences of stress and burnout in the grind of ministry while cultivating the calling needed to remain in ministry.

Both of these types of strategies are useful for pastors dealing with immediate job-related stressors as well as coping with burnout. In our experience, having a toolbox with both the long-term and acute strategies provide the resources needed when trying to prevent burnout as well as cope with its effects. We will describe in future blogs more long-term spiritual strategies like lectio divina and the daily examen, but for now, we will describe using the Jesus Prayer and focus on breathing.

The Jesus Prayer is an ancient spiritual practice coming out of the Christian contemplative tradition. The simple Jesus Prayer is as follows: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” John Michael Talbot, in his book, The Jesus Prayer: A Cry for Mercy, A Path of Renewal, describes the practice of connecting the breath with the prayer: “Breathing in fills us up, and breathing out empties us. Breathing in causes us to hold on, and breathing out causes us to let go” (p. 17). By connecting “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God” with inhaling, one experiences the breath (or spirit, in biblical terminology). Via the prayer, we are able to focus on the breath as spirit, especially the Holy Spirit empowering and comforting in the moment. Exhaling on the phrase “have mercy on me, a sinner” allows for the release of guilt, shame, stress, and anxiety. Recent research suggests that practicing the Jesus Prayer positively impacts mood. The Jesus Prayer rekindles one’s connection to God through attending to one’s breath or spirit (pneuma in the New Testament; see John 3:8).

The Jesus Prayer – A Sample Practice

When a pastor notices stress is increasing, one way to use the Jesus Prayer is to focus on the breath silently and intentionally.

The first step is increasing awareness to one’s rate of breathing. Some reflection questions for this: How fast am I breathing right now? Why am I breathing so fast (What is happening in this moment)?
Begin repeating the Jesus Prayer silently: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Next: Intentionally breath with the Jesus Prayer. On the inhale, silently say, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me. On the exhale, silently say, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Do this for several moments or up to three minutes focusing on slowing the breath to align with the prayer.

This practice is very useful in the moment, and others don’t even have to know that this practice is being used. In particularly intense situations, stepping away from the moment may aid the pastor in engaging this practice for a couple minutes and then returning to address the situation that created the stress. The earlier in the stress process this is used to refocus on one’s breath, the better it will be to manage the stress.

Feel free to connect with Tom (centerforpastoralrenewal@gmail.com) regarding this practice and the research associated with it.

Changing Our Focus to Others

References

Coping with Pastoral Burnout using the Jesus Prayer

Questions or Need More Information?